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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

OCTOBER 4, 2009.

sticky, runny nose
paper stuck in water
blood full'a alcohol
makes a stumble'n falter.
spilled the rum on my dress,
out my mouth,
tryin' to speak a dif'rent language...
never gonna get it out.
heart wrapped in a bloody bandaged.

add 'er all up.

saggin' faces, drippy hearts
pile'a words just fer you.
bowl fulla guts
dropped 'em on the table
while sayin' hello to you.
extended release always make
my fuzzy head feel better.
heart on a sandy hill
jaw on a knotted rope..
tied together in a bundle
let loose by a dull kitchen knife.
cut my finger on a bunch a orangey
carrots.
orangey like the porch chair
i'm settin' on.
orangey like the acid in my sad ol' stomach.
orangey like the place i fill with the fuel.
fuel a'words, fuel a'food, fuel a'desert
sadness.
brain's got a pair'a blinders
like leather flaps near a horse's eyes
so i won't get a bit a distraction.
fightin' against the cigarette my blood wants ta smoke.
fightin' 'gainst the pen my fingers
are a'holdin.
jus' wantin' ta be a bug waitin' on a leaf...
or an apostrophe in the book your eyes're readin'.
so i won't miss a beat my heart's
s'posed ta bleed..
'cause next time the sun comes out
to sooth us, tell us it's alright,
this paper might be more wrinkled .
symbols might trigger somepin
diff'ern in grey tissues.
clothes might fit a little awkward,
like a letter from a'old
best friend or a picher you
can't quite
put yer finner on.
lungs'll be a little blacker
n'things you wish you kep'
in yer atoms may be
a little streatched
too
wrong.

I shall do something to fill this up.

sin acento de sud...



do you ever feel like you're rolling backwards
but you're really holding still?
everyday i put faith in the ability of my feet to keep me upright,
my heart to keep my blood bright,
and my eyes to see the world and it's constant spinning.
i wish i knew where i wanted to be, but
right now,
i'm content with my atoms and the atoms around me.

--

we are skin and bone.
organs. shit. blood.
material.
atoms.

---

con acento de sud...

what do ya do
when your brain only
thinks it knows what
the heart's a'feelin?
heart can't talk...
mouth sewn shut
fingers are all broken
up.
brain knows how heart's
been hurt before...
hence damaged appendage.
does brain take a guess
and let tongue shout it out?
what happens when heart feels better
says
'brain! you were all wrong.
look what ya done...'
brain don't want non a'that behavior...
n'soul belongs to someone much greater.
soul can't speak fer heart.

JANUARY 9th. explains a lot.

yer keepin me down and holdin me back
Lemme out, jus wanna get freee
N'i keep tryin ta fight yer grippin hands
Cause they're sharp n'theyre makin me bleed.
The windows open a terrible invitin
But the jumps so far down if'n I got out
Dunno if I could even get away.
Now brains workin real hard for soul
An' muscles're ready for flight
But skin n'eyes're makin me stay here.
So're you. You won't lemme outta yer sight..